I am puke
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize