Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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