have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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