she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We left the knife in your bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
