Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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