Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
