I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
