Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
