I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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