what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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