you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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