does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize