True but thats because hes a fetus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize