He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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