I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
