omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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