He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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