Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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