What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i dont even know how to be here
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
