i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
