She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my shit smells like andre
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
