Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
