his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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