Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
