i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
