If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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