I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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