Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
