im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
