Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
