i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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