Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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