and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
