Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
