All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
