how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
