Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
