He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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