If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I party with great urgency now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
