we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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