i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
