i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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