Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I cut my penus on the lid.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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