12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
