this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
