Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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