I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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