the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
