I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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