Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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