so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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