I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
