I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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