Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
