Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
