Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
