He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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