On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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